Still Crazy after all these years

Whenever my birthday comes around, I get really reflective and emotional. I’ll try and make sense of everything that’s happened over the past year. On the right day, I’ll zoom out even further and contemplate my entire life. (don’t recommend this) With that, I’ve been thinking a lot about the first song I ever wrote. I was in sixth grade and Allen Jackson invited me over to mess around with this computer game called Fruity Loops. I slowly realized it wasn’t a game you played but something you made songs in. Eventually, we left that alone and he put on the beat for Fabolous’s “Salute.” I wrote something that I thought was really cool at the time (https://youtu.be/UYYWLE4l5Ls?si=rMlEHzbw1WNrCC2f&t=42). It was probably three or four years ago when I remembered that this was on the internet. As someone who’s always been easily embarrassed, I vowed to let that stay in the deep dark depths of the internet. But as I get older, I realize that I genuinely have nothing to be embarrassed about. This verse is an integral part of my journey. I’m not in this position without it.

This Friday, two days before my birthday, there will be people gathered in a clothing store to come and listen to this new music I’ve been working on. It is truly the sum of all my influences, and all the best parts of me laid out in record form. I can’t help but think about the eleven year old who wrote his first raps. He’d be shocked that I’m confident enough to ask people to come and listen to my music. That kid always knew he was special, he just didn’t know how to be anything but small. The older I’ve gotten, I’ve shed that shell little by little.  I’ve changed a lot, but also I haven’t changed much at all. I’m still overly ambitious. Still really good at what I do. Still in the love with the work. Still crazy after all these years!!!